Sometimes, things happen in our lives that temporarily suspend our ability to think straight. Intoxicated upon impact, we find ourselves making unhealthy choices, moving away from who we are, compromising the values we grew up with. We end up acting on our heightened emotions with little inhibition.
And then in time, the dust settles. The shock, pain and anger dissipate. We sober up, and as our head clears, so does our perspective. We become acutely aware of the things we shouldn’t have said and done. By then, it’s too late to take back or undo them.
So the lessons come in. We look back at every move we made and lament on what we should’ve-would’ve-could’ve done instead. We think of the people we unwittingly involved. People we hurt simply because they were in the way of our tornado of feelings. People we took for granted while we were so focused on ourselves.
With those lessons come realizations. We begin to see the situation for what it is—so much less complicated and worrisome than we imagined. As our flaws and vulnerabilities get exposed, we also begin to see people for who they are—the ones merely waiting in the wings for us to fall, the ones only in it for entertainment, and the ones who love, forgive and stand by us through everything.
The sad reality is, lessons come with pain and difficulty. The beautiful truth is, they also come with hope and choice. Apart from seeking forgiveness, there are two things we can do when we make mistakes. We can wallow in self-pity, blame and regret, think ourselves small and allow ourselves to be hindered and ridiculed by fellow human beings who forget that all of us are fallible, that all of us have done things we’re not proud of.
Or we can make the choice to forgive ourselves, rise above it all and move forward. To acknowledge our mistakes, then do things differently so we don’t repeat them. To embrace the hope each day brings, wipe our slate clean and get ourselves a brand new start.
And then, when we can honestly tell ourselves that we are at peace with our past, gratitude sets in. Not just for the happy times or the people who have been good to us. Ultimately, we begin as well to appreciate the pain we once rejected, along with the persons who caused it. We realize that they have actually given us a gift: that of getting us out of our comfort zone, of leaving us forced to fight our monsters, of helping us realize great things within ourselves that we wouldn’t have discovered otherwise. We come out of it with newfound courage and wisdom, ready to once again begin.
Nothing is ever stationary or static. Even for a tree planted firmly on the ground, seasons give way to seasons. Everything has a definite time: from being abloom, its leaves shed and its flowers wilt and just when it seems resigned to staying barren for good, the time comes when its bloom is renewed—each full circle a transition from stagnation to growth. The same holds true for all of us. Each “death” we experience is a mere “passing on” to a new and more fulfilling life, if only we embrace it. :)
Outfit details: Dress from Bangkok, maxi skirt from The Catwalk Freshlook Illuminate one-day contact lenses from Sarabia Optical Rockwell Hype this: Lookbook // Chictopia
In March 2010 started a love story eight years in the making. Seph and I met in 2002 through my cousin Jeru, his best friend of 11 years. Through those years we were always just along the borders of each other’s lives, crossing paths every now and then in between relationships, keeping in touch and losing touch and finally finding each other many years and lessons later.
When we did, we were so sure we had both been prepared for this. That there must have been a reason we weren’t brought together eight years ago; that we were meant to first grow and learn from past mistakes. Things fell into place almost cosmically: the chemistry effortless, the connection unbreakable, everyone’s love and support overwhelming. This is what we’ve been waiting our whole lives for, we thought.
It’s been our joy sharing our story with you through this blog—our passions, hopes, milestones and memories. Love Chic has not only been a celebration of our love for fashion, but of love. Of two people whose bond is so strong that one can feel or think what the other feels or thinks without saying a word. Two people with so much in common it’s like they’ve known each other all their lives. Whose differences are so complementary that when their strengths and weaknesses combine, they’re unstoppable. Two people who have made cynics believe that true love is real after all.
But love as a feeling is never enough. Falling in love is the easiest thing, while staying in love requires commitment. It takes two; not one, not three, to make a relationship work. As it turns out, the worst fears and gut feelings I’ve been having for a while were real: Seph and I have stopped moving together in this direction. The things that were supposed to be just between the two of us—secrets, plans, dreams, problems, were no longer just between the two of us.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, our story has come to an end.
They say fight for what’s yours. Give it your all. But when it turns out it has no longer been yours for over a year now, you can fight and give with all you’ve got and it won’t make the slightest difference.
When that happens, all you can do is forgive, and move on. Be grateful for what happened, and have faith that things can only get better.
From here on, Seph is leaving Love Chic to me. There will be changes, but with the same name and aim of inspiring young people to be their best and confident selves. We hope you’ll continue to be supportive of us even as we go our own ways.
Made this on our anniversary to celebrate our story. It’s time to let it go. :)
To everyone who stood by us from the very beginning, when we were starting out with webcam photos on Facebook albums. To everyone who read our first blog posts and watched our first videos. To everyone who came by our talks, wrote to Dear Love Chic, dropped by our bazaar booths, watched our guestings, and read our features. To everyone who showed their faith in us, who looked up to us and made us feel like we were doing something right. To everyone who loved Love Chic, and sephshai.