Been in love with this Bon Iver song from the first listen. It’s about being “in a relationship because you need help, but that’s not necessarily why you should be in a relationship. And that’s why it’s skinny. It doesn’t have weight. Skinny love doesn’t have a chance because it’s not nourished,” in the own words of artist Justin Vernon. I can’t decide which of three versions I love the most: original with lyrics here, version by 16-year-old singer/pianist Birdy here, live acoustic version by British cutie Ed Sheeran here.
I hosted an advanced movie screening event of ETC Channel and I wore this tongue-in-cheek because it was a comedy-horror film. (End of outfit post. Lol just kidding) Not much of a story there. I usually go into my blog posts with pictures first, and then figure out what to write when I write. My mom and I shot these a few weeks back, but I didn’t really know what to do with skulls and crossbones. Today, I just felt like uploading them with no direction whatsoever when “Skinny Love” played on my iTunes. Just then, everything clicked. The words—the lyrics and Justin Vernon’s explanation of them—reverberated in my head. “Come on, skinny love, just last the year… I told you to be patient and I told you to be fine. And I told you to be balanced and I told you to be kind. In the morning I’ll be with you but it will be a different kind… Who will love you? Who will fight?”
We’ve all been there—not just once, not just twice, maybe more times than we could care to count. Whoever we are, however beautiful or strong or intelligent or successful we may be, we have one thing in common with the rest of humanity: all we really want, deep down inside, is to be loved. To be affirmed, cared for, needed, adored. To feel like another person would not want to go on without us. But are we really willing to make do with a love founded on co-dependency than none at all? A toxic, pharmaceutical kind of love that only takes away the symptoms of loneliness and longing but never cures the underlying disease that brings it? A love of two halves desperate to have someone complete them at the cost of losing their individuality? Skinny, undernourished, lightweight love?
When you’ve had one too many, you tire of chasing after a kind of love that is bound to last only so long as the novelty and euphoria of the feeling is there. You resolve that this time around, you will love yourself first. You appreciate a life free of complications and restrictions and having to mold yourself into someone else’s cookie cutter, and having to do the same for them. You hope to only be with someone you can be better with, but not change for. You promise yourself that you would not fall into the trappings of love until you are whole. You tell yourself that perhaps, when you are whole and with so much to give, another whole will come by when you least expect it, and you will be together not because you can’t live without each other, but because you don’t want to.
I do. :)
Outfit details: Binkydoodles sheer top, Marithe+Francois Girbaud jeans, Parisian booties, SM Accessories bracelet.
Sometimes, things happen that temporarily suspend our ability to think straight. People we value do us wrong, throw away our love and friendship. Intoxicated by their betrayal, we find ourselves making poor choices, moving away from who we are and compromising the values we grew up with. We end up acting on our heightened emotions, forgetting that wanting to cause pain to people who hurt us will do nothing to ease our own pain.
Dress from Bangkok, maxi skirt from The Catwalk. Freshlook Illuminate one-day contact lenses from Sarabia Optical Rockwell. Lookbook // Chictopia
In March 2010 started a love story eight years in the making. Seph and I met in 2002 through my cousin Jeru, his best friend of 11 years. Through those years we were always just along the borders of each other’s lives, crossing paths every now and then in between relationships, keeping in touch and losing touch and finally finding each other many years and lessons later.
When we did, we were so sure we had both been prepared for this. That there must have been a reason we weren’t brought together eight years ago; that we were meant to first grow and learn from past mistakes. Things fell into place almost cosmically: the chemistry effortless, the connection unbreakable, everyone’s love and support overwhelming. This is what we’ve been waiting our whole lives for, we thought.
It’s been our joy sharing our story with you through this blog—our passions, hopes, milestones and memories. Love Chic has not only been a celebration of our love for fashion, but of love. Of two people whose bond is so strong that one can feel or think what the other feels or thinks without saying a word. Two people with so much in common it’s like they’ve known each other all their lives. Whose differences are so complementary that when their strengths and weaknesses combine, they’re unstoppable. Two people who have made cynics believe that true love is real after all.
But love as a feeling is never enough. Falling in love is the easiest thing, while staying in love requires commitment. It takes two; not one, not three, to make a relationship work. As it turns out, the worst fears and gut feelings I’ve been having for a while were real: Seph and I have stopped moving together in this direction. The things that were supposed to be just between the two of us—secrets, plans, dreams, problems, were no longer just between the two of us.
Due to circumstances beyond my control, our story has come to an end.
They say fight for what’s yours. Give it your all. But when it turns out it has no longer been yours for over a year now, you can fight and give with all you’ve got and it won’t make the slightest difference.
When that happens, all you can do is forgive, and move on. Be grateful for what happened, and have faith that things can only get better.
From here on, Seph is leaving Love Chic to me. There will be changes, but with the same name and aim of inspiring young people to be their best and confident selves. We hope you’ll continue to be supportive of us even as we go our own ways.
Made this on our anniversary to celebrate our story. It’s time to let it go. :)
To everyone who stood by us from the very beginning, when we were starting out with webcam photos on Facebook albums. To everyone who read our first blog posts and watched our first videos. To everyone who came by our talks, wrote to Dear Love Chic, dropped by our bazaar booths, watched our guestings, and read our features. To everyone who showed their faith in us, who looked up to us and made us feel like we were doing something right. To everyone who loved Love Chic, and sephshai.